Care and Handling of the SemiDomesticated Jaffa
by denise1
Summary: Sam and Vala figure out how to handle their favorite Jaffa


Written for the 'Left on the cutting room floor' Sam and Vala friendship ficathon. The prompt was: Them talking about Teal'c. Whether or not to try and stop him and the futility of making sense of 'Jaffa Revenge'. Maybe Vala wants Sam to stop him but Sam won't. The two women and how to handle a Jaffa.

The Care and Handling of the Semi-Domesticated Jaffa

By

Denise

Knuckles banged gently against Teal'c's door and he looked up, verbalizing his invitation to enter. He knew who his visitor would be, at least he had it narrowed down to two possibilities as he had already spoken to Colonel Mitchell and General Landry.

"Colonel Carter," he acknowledged, recognizing the person stepping into his quarters.

"Hey." She smiled uncomfortably as she closed the door. She stood there for a few seconds, her hands clasped in front of her and Teal'c sighed. He knew why she had come. And, apparently, she was unable to broach the topic she was here to discuss.

"May I enquire as to the reason for your visit?" he asked. He was due to embark within the hour and did not have time for lengthy conversations.

"You know, I was just talking to Cameron." She stepped closer.

"Has he been regaling you of tales of his female ancestors?" he asked.

She grimaced. "Not much…but he did have this weird idea that you were leaving. Which I told him was silly. That he must have gotten things confused or something." She spoke quickly, almost as if she was spilling forth a rehearsed speech.

"In this instance, Cameron Mitchell's recollections are most accurate," Teal'c said.

"Teal'c, why?"

"I am sure you are aware," he challenged. He was not going to expound upon his reasons, not even for her.

"You're going after Arkad," she said, crossing her arms over her chest. "Teal'c, General Landry has told all the teams to keep an eye out for him."

"Arkad has eluded capture for many decades. It is unlikely that an SG team will merely stumble across him."

"But you will?" she asked. "You remember what happened the last time  you two met?"

"Vividly. When we next  meet I shall not be caught unawares."

"No. You'll be drawing attention to yourself by hunting him down," she countered. She stepped forward. "Teal'c, please. Give us time to find him. Someone like Arkad won't stay hidden forever. We'll find him and—"

"And what?" Teal'c interrupted. "Bring him back to be incarcerated here?  You will not do that. It would make the Tau'ri a target. Nor is there a planet out there that you could send him to without risking the lives of others. To keep Earth safe, Arkad must die."

"And you have to be the one to pull the trigger?"

"I shall be the one to administer justice."

"Justice?"

"Colonel Carter, do the Tau'ri not execute criminals?"

"Yes. AFTER A TRIAL."

"Jaffa justice is not as ponderous as that of the Tau'ri." She stared at him for a few seconds, and he could see her thinking, struggling to come up with another angle of attack.

"Would Apophis have let you go?" she finally asked, her eyes glinting with challenge.

"I am free," he said. "I no longer am subject to the whims of others," he shot back, aware that he was striking a 'low blow' as O'Neill would phrase it.

"Me asking you not to get yourself killed is a whim?" Teal'c remained silent, unable to answer her question. She did not understand that this was no whim. This was a matter of honor. "Let us help you," she said. "Between the Jaffa and the Tok'ra—"

"I do not require the assistance of outsiders," he interrupted.

She stared at him, her gaze hard and her jaw set. Finally, she sighed. "I'll leave you to it then," she said softly, the anger that he knew she felt, tempered and denied. She spun on her heel and reached for the door.

"Colonel Carter," he said as her hand rested on the doorknob. She paused but did not look back. "I shall…keep in touch," he said, surrendering to the need to say something.

"And I think that's the first time you've ever lied to me," she said, refusing to turn around. She opened the door and stepped out, pulling it shut behind her. The quiet click echoed as loudly as if she had slammed the door.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Teal'c is leaving," Vala announced as she ran into Sam's lab, using one hand to catch herself on the door frame.

Sam glanced up, finally, after almost a year, used to the woman's abrupt and dramatic entrances. "I know," she said, looking back down at her computer screen.

"Didn't you hear me?"

"I heard." Sam ignored Vala as she walked further into the room.

"Well, come on." Vala grabbed Sam's arm and pulled. "You can call that little bald man and he can keep that iron thing closed and we can talk some sense into Teal'c."

Sam pulled back and plopped on her stool. "It's an iris and I'm not calling the chief."

"Okay. We'll stop him another way. You can get a zat and—"

"I'm not stopping him," Sam interrupted.

Vala stared. "You're not stopping him?"

"No," Sam said, making a show of returning to her work.

"You have to stop him," Vala said, pushing down the lid of Sam's laptop and forcing her to look up. "This mission of his is a fool's errand. I know that he doesn't like to admit it but I know that he's not as healed as he wants us to think he is."

"I know," Sam said softly.

"I mean, you've never lived out there," Vala continued as if Sam hadn't spoken. She started to pace as she talked. "It's…" She snapped her fingers. "Canine eat canine. Absolutely vicious. They can sense that someone is weak and they close in and…" She made grabbing gestures with her hand. "We have to stop him." She spun back around and leaned against the counter, facing Sam.

"You can't stop a Jaffa," Sam said, reopening the lid of her laptop.

"Of course you can." Vala pushed the lid closed again. "You just tell them to stop." Sam stared at her. "You tell them to stop and they do what you say."

"Is that from the System Lord Manual on how to handle a Jaffa?" she asked pointedly.

Vala frowned and a sheepish look crossed her face. "Well, yes, but—"

"Teal'c's free," Sam interrupted. "He's free to stay or he's free to go." She reopened her laptop and seriously regretted not locking her door.

Vala's eyes narrowed. "Sam…"

"Speaking of going, I think Teal'c's due to ship out in a few minutes," Sam interrupted. "The least we can do is say goodbye." She stared at Vala, daring the woman to contradict her.

"That does seem to be the LEAST that we can do," Vala said, staring at Sam until she looked away.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Vala opened her eyes, unable to deny the panic that swept over her when she encountered nothing but darkness. "Sam?" she asked, hoping that the faint tingling of a host belonged to her teammate.

"Yeah." Sam's voice was quiet. Not quite a whisper, but also not her normal speaking tone.

"Umm, I might be having a little problem," Vala confessed.

"Beyond being blind in woods that could be crawling with Jaffa that would just as soon kill us as look at us?" Sam said.

"Oh, so you're blind too?" Vala asked, oddly relieved that she wasn't the only one affected.

"Goa'uld stun grenade. The blindness will wear off in a few minutes."

"Well, that's a relief. Daniel?"

"He's right next to you and he's still out," Sam said. "How do you NOT know about a goa'uld stun grenade?"

"Of course I know about them. I was just usually standing BEHIND the people throwing them is all."

"Ah."

"Then again, there was that time on Alderran  when—"

"Vala?"

"Yes?"

"Surrounded by enemy Jaffa."

"What? Oh, right. We should probably stay quiet."

"Ya think?"

Sam's sarcastic admonishment lingering in her brain, Vala fell silent. The sounds of the forest crept in and, ironically, proved Sam's concern false. Over the sound of Daniel's near snores, she could hear the soft whisper of the leaves as the wind moved through the trees and the faint babble of a stream nearby.

Birds flittered overhead and she could smell the familiar aroma of damp soil and, when the breeze was right, Daniel's aftershave.

She heard no voices, no steady march of boots or dull clank of armor. She smelled no odor of unwashed bodies – that armor was uncomfortable in many ways –and, most telling of all, she sensed no symbiotes.

They were alone. And, if there were indeed any of Arkad's Jaffa on this planet, they were not in the immediate vicinity. "At least he didn't leave us in the sun," Vala said, grinning at the other woman's sigh of exasperation. "I hate it when they do that. I would end up with sunburn in the most uncomfortable places. And I'm sure, after all these years, Teal'c knows precisely how easily you burn." Vala blinked, the faint shadows and light telling her that their 'time out' was nearly over.

"What makes you think it was Teal'c?" Sam asked.

"Who else would take the time to tuck us safely away?" Vala asked. "I seem to recall standing in the middle of a clearing, not under a bush." She batted ineffectually at a small branch tickling her left arm.

"Maybe it was someone that just doesn't want to share the bounty."

"Bounty? He would never turn you over to the Lucian Alliance. Unless you're referring to that ridiculous bounty that Apophis put out on you. I'm afraid that it's really not worth anything right now. Besides, Teal'c won't turn you in."

"Teal'c WOULDN'T have," Sam clarified. "Back when he was a part of SG-1. But now he's nothing but a rogue."

"He's still Teal'c. He's still your friend," Vala said.

"He's a Jaffa. And leopards don't change their spots," Sam insisted.

Vala frowned, blinking to finish clearing her vision. Sam was sitting on the ground, a few feet away, her weapon lying in her lap while her gaze was fixed outward. Vala may not have known the Earth woman long, but emotions were universal. And the one painted on Sam's unguarded face was unmistakable. "You're afraid of him," she said, causing the blond to look her way. "And afraid for him. If he doesn't kill Arkad now, he'll just keep chasing him until he does. And if he does kill Arkad now, he can't come back to Earth. Regardless of what he does, you're going to lose him."

Sam's eyes narrowed and the fear was quickly replaced by ire. "And you were supposed to tell me when you could see," she lied. She glanced down at Daniel, lying between them. "Now that we know you can, why don't you keep an eye on Daniel. I'm going to go look for Cameron."

She got to her feet and quickly walked away, her bootsteps barely audible. "And you were no help," Vala said, slapping Daniel's arm. "The least you could have done was backed me up."

Daniel opened his eyes and looked up at Vala. "There's a time and place for everything," he said, sitting up. "You want to have a heart to heart with her, you wait until we're back at the SGC," he reprimanded.

"Fair enough," Vala said with a shrug. Daniel got to his feet and held out a hand to help her. She gratefully accepted the assistance. "Now what?"

"We find Sam, we find Mitchell, and then I have a funny feeling we're going to go find Teal'c."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I simply do not understand your society's issues with alcoholic beverages," Vala announced, making her customary dramatic entrance. Her hands were full and she dropped the items down on Sam's table with a chaotic clatter.

"It has something to do with keeping a clear head," Sam said, rescuing a pint of ice cream that threatened to roll onto the floor. "What's with all the ice cream?" she asked, taking in the half dozen flavors scattered on the table along with a few spoons and some very tattered napkins.

"Well, I heard of this Earth thing, a girl's night in. Although, I believe it is supposed to have tequila or wine but since I cannot leave the facility and both Daniel and Cameron refused to purchase some for me, this treat was the closest I could come to fulfilling the ritual." She looked up at Sam. "There was also something about the painting of toe nails and the coloring of one's hair, but when I enquired about the supplies for that, I received the most odd expressions."

"I can imagine," Sam said, smiling at the thought of Vala shopping for pedicure supplies at the base PX.

"Besides, the names were so intriguing, that I just had to try them." She held up a carton. "Surely there's not a real monkey in this."

"Chunky Monkey is banana and chocolate I think," Sam said, claiming the Cherry Garcia flavor of Ben and Jerry's for herself. She had no idea why the woman was here, but had to admit that she was a welcome distraction.

"Oh good." Vala plopped down on the stool. "I have to admit that I prefer my monkey barbequeued. Although, I once had a chef that would sautee it with some vegetables and the most exquisite sauce." She paused and looked up, frowning when Sam said nothing.

"The best monkey I ever had was in a stew," Sam said, taking a large bite of her ice cream. She enjoyed the few seconds when she shocked Vala into silence.

Sam savored her ice cream, rolling a cherry on her tongue while Vala tried several flavors in turn, rejecting some as not to her taste.

"You know," Vala finally said around a mouthful of Wavy Gravy. "I remember a few weeks ago when you got shot by that Ori soldier." Sam silently sighed, turning her attention to digging in the carton. She didn't like talking about herself, and liked reminiscing about her recent brush with death even less. "You were sick. Doctor Lam called it periwinkle or—"

"Peritonitis," Sam interrupted, well aware of the complication that had kept her in the infirmary for an extra week.

"Right. That. Sam, I don't think you remember just how sick you were. Doctor Lam was very concerned and so were the rest of us. In fact, Teal'c spent about three days at your bedside. He wouldn't leave, even after Doctor Lam threatened him."

"Vala—"

"Sam," she continued, her tone sincere. "There was something that you would dream about. And, whatever it was, it was something that upset you greatly. Nothing anyone did would calm you. But Teal'c could. I don't know what he did, I don't know what it was. Something about him, something that I don't understand…all he would have to do is to touch  you and talk to you and you would calm down and go back to sleep. There is something between the two of you. Something that I don't understand, and that I'm frankly a bit jealous of. But it's something that you shouldn't lose."

"I'm not the one that went running around the galaxy, chasing down an old enemy just to settle a score," Sam said, bristling defensively.

"No. You're not. But Sam, doesn't being a friend mean taking the good with the bad?" Sam raised her eyebrows. "Okay, so that is a bit cliché but…Sam, he needs you."

Sam shook her head. "He doesn't need the Tau'ri."

"I'm not talking about the Tau'ri, I'm talking about you. You have to know why Teal'c didn't  want us to come with him."

"So he could move faster?"

"He didn't have to worry about Arkad killing one of us to get to him," she said. "He did it to protect you, and I dare say, he'd do it again."

"And the next time he has to settle a score?" Sam asked.

"You were right, leopards don't change their spots, I'm afraid," Vala said with a shrug. "You just have to hope that he outlives his adversaries."

"And if he doesn't?"

"You let him go and remember that he acquitted himself with honor." She grinned wickedly. "Or, of course, you pop him into a sarcophagus. I know where you can get one, cheap."

Sam chuckled. "Or we could clone him."

"Robots are always good."

"Travel back in time."

"That doesn't work," Vala dismissed.

"Yes, it does."

"You cannot time travel."

"Yes, you can. I have done it," Sam insisted.

"Really? Can you imagine what would happen if we went back in time and changed—"

"No."

"Sam—"

"NO! You can't and you won't. And if you try, I'll make Teal'c sit on you," she threatened with a smile.

"Muscles won't be in the shape to sit on anyone for quite a while," Vala said. She pushed a slightly soggy pint of ice cream towards Sam. "This happens to be his favorite flavor."

"I don't think Doctor Lam is going to let him have ice cream."

"Only one way to find out," Vala urged.

Sam picked up the ice cream and a spoon. "Guess there is. Thanks."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sam walked into the infirmary, casting a wary glance towards Lam's office. The door was closed so she could only hope that the woman had gone home for the night. Teal'c, she knew, was in a room to the side of the infirmary. Doctor Lam seemed to follow along with how Janet ran things in that those who were due for a long stay were placed in beds away from the main traffic area of the infirmary. And Teal'c was definitely going to be a patient for a while.

As she approached him, she could see that he appeared to be asleep. An impressive, or perhaps depressing, amount of wires and tubes snaked in and out from under the covers.

She sat down and set the ice cream on the bedside table as she pondered what to do.

Vala may have had a good idea for a gesture, but it was pretty much an empty gesture if Teal'c slept through it.

She should just go back to her lab and hope that Vala had left. Or maybe just go home. There was an idea. She could go home and chill out. Maybe crack open a bottle of wine and—

"Colonel Carter." Teal'c's voice cut into her thoughts.

"Hey." She looked at him, not quite able to meet his eyes. An uncomfortable silence stretched between them as she struggled to come up with something to say. She should have waited, or, better yet, got Vala to come with her.

"You suffered no ill effects from the stun grenade?" he asked, his voice rasping and almost weak.

"Headache," she replied, resisting the urge to elaborate. He knew those things gave her a killer migraine.

"I could think of no other way to subdue you that would not cause you permanent harm."

"Beyond being unconscious and vulnerable on a hostile planet?" she shot back.

"Colonel Carter—"

"No," she interrupted. "Don't explain it. Don't rationalize it.  You crossed the line, Teal'c," she accused.

"I did what I had to do."

"You did what you WANTED to do. And you endangered not just yourself but every one of us just so that you could settle a score."

"I sought justice."

"You went for revenge. And you didn't give a damn who or what got in the way." She got to her feet and turned, ready to walk away. She turned back. "I trusted you. For ten years, I trusted you. You were the one constant in the craziness that is this place. You were the one thing that I could count on. The one person that would never let me down. You were part of the reason that I gave up regular hours at Area 51 and came back." He stared at her, his features impassive. "Were we ever anything more than a means to an end?" she asked.

"Colonel Carter—"

"No, don't answer," she interrupted. "You're just going to say what you think I want to hear." She reached out and pushed the pint of ice cream into the trash. "I won't bother you again."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Vala pulled the boot off her foot and tossed it in the corner with a disgusted sigh. She really needed to speak to General Landry. Those boots were simply the most unattractive footwear she had ever worn. Perhaps if they came in different colors…

Someone knocked at her door and she called out for them to enter. Much to her surprise, Sam stepped into the room. "Are you in the mood for a road trip," she asked, walking forward with deliberate purpose.

"Umm…isn't it a little late for a mission? I mean, technically, I know that 'late' is relative and that midnight here is really early morning elsewhere but—"

"I'm not talking through the gate," she said. She smiled nervously. "Earlier tonight, you mentioned girl's night in and tequila and pedicures and…how'd you like to get out of here and spend the night at my place," she said quickly.

"Really?"

"Yeah. I don't have any tequila but I do have some rum and some wine and I think I even have some chocolate and…girls night in, my place, what do you say?"

"Well," Vala sighed dramatically. "Since I have no pressing engagements…" She jumped to her feet. "Is this like a slumber party?" she asked as Sam crossed the room and retrieved Vala's discarded boots, handing them to her. "Do we stay up all night and do each others' hair and tell secrets and play spin the bottle?" Sam shot her a sharp look. "Oh, right. Different kind of party but…"

"Vala?"

"Yes?"

"Put on your boots. Grab your pajamas and let's go."

"What about Teal'c?" Vala asked as she gathered a few items.

Sam shrugged. "Teal'c's on his own for a while."

"On his own?"

"Until I get over being pissed at him or until he comes and grovels," she replied.

"Grovels?" Vala asked skeptically. "A Jaffa?"

Sam smiled. "It happens." Vala stared. "Page forty-three of the Tau'ri manual on how to handle a Jaffa." Sam grinned and opened the door, standing aside to encourage Vala to follow.

"You have a manual on how to handle Teal'c?" Vala asked, tossing her overnight bag over her shoulder and hurrying towards the door.

"I have one on how to handle Daniel too," Sam answered, walking out the door and down the hall.

Vala stared after her for a few seconds, then hurried after Sam. "You're going to share it with me, aren't you? Sam? Sam! Come on…friends share!"

Fin


End file.
